In Defense of John Mayer
Submitted by Hash Browns on Fri, 03/19/2010 - 12:22.
My name is Michael and I'm a John Mayer fan.
BoT didn't commission this review. I texted Hash Browns halfway through the best concert I've seen since Paul McCartney last summer and told her I was gonna write a few words regardless, and BoT could post them if they wanted to. It is true, the last thing the web needs is more sludge on celebrities clogging our collective bandwidth, but I thought fuck it, I'll join the fray because I actually care about this shit. Read on.
No two words are more divisive when it comes to popular music than John Mayer. And it isn't just a single line in the sand; there is an entire spectrum of fan/foe that one could fall into. There are the tween to teen, glossy-eyed girls whose untainted imagination affords them the luxury of believing all those sappy pop songs. There are the wanton consumers of Top 40 radio who are doused with at least two Mayer jams per record release and who will listen complacently to just about anything you feed to them. There are the musician types (I run into this clan quite a bit) who love to riff about whose playing in his band or what gear he uses and whatever else they read in internet forums and vomit up conversation. There is the other sect of musicians who love to hate him (I would contend) simply because he's so successful and inarguably talented. Regardless, these are some of the more common things that come up when John Mayer is mentioned. The italicized font is my internal response.
Did you hear about him saying blahblahblahblah?
No. Keeping up with that shit is like eating cotton candy for a meal. It has no fucking value. Read a publication written by people who like music and write about music for people that like music, not celebrity garbage perpetuated by the likes of that dickhead Perez Hilton. Keep in mind too, those idiots are only famous because American culture consumes that shit with about as much reserve as a fat kid gorging on a twinky; we make them famous.
He has a trillion followers on twitter!
I don't fucking care.
Didn't he date Jessica Simpson or something?
He could have gotten a blow job from Cleopatra and I still wouldn't fucking care.
He's a douche bag.
I'll plead no contest. But all those shitty, contrived Brooklyn bands that the people who vomit up this type inanity undoubtedly defend look like they smell like asshole, haven't showered in weeks, and worst of all make shitty music. I'll take the douche bag with the platinum records, you keep your Williamsburg soundcheck music.
There are a billion other things that can be said about the guy. But one thing can't be argued; the man is a musical marvel to behold, unlike 99.999% of celebrity shit-head performers the last generation of musicians, reality TV shows and myspace have produced. It is rare in any venue to witness a singular musician under 50 years old have such a honed craft, let alone the ability to enthrall an audience with an effortless grasp on melody that captures an audience from 10 to 60. That is the definition of timeless, and something our shitty pop-culture is failing miserably at producing.
I will always laud the merit of pop music. It has been a prime cultural thermometer for the past 80 or so years. I, for one, wish to god that more artists like John Mayer would pop up - it would beat the hell out of having idiots like Nickleback, Daughtry and any other number of reality TV drones dominate our radio. I understand that he is not everyone's taste; thats fine - neither were the Beatles.
-Grits
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